Very little has changed in my reaction to the CPAP machine, except for the fact that I feel less like Darth Vader and more like Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. I have even taken to saying a quote or two from the movie when I pull the mask on at night.
"When Gotham is...ashes...then you will have my permission to die."
I do get a little annoyed when the humidifier part of the machine ends up causing a small pool of water to collect during the day, condensed from the previous night's vapor. I have taken to keeping a washcloth on hand in order to soak up any drips that come loose when I turn it on upon going to bed. A cold and wet face is not conducive to a good night's sleep.
I am still only wearing the CPAP roughly half to two-thirds of the night, as I will get up, use the restroom, go back to bed and fall asleep before reaching for the mask. If only I could fall asleep this easily when I first go to bed.
One problem with the fit of my mask is that it is not completely airtight, as my beard and mustache get in the way. (I am told this is why police officers and firefighters don't grow beards, as it prevents an airtight seal around a gas mask.) The hissing sound and cold breeze from a leaky seal can be distracting, so I try to make sure it is firmly secured to my face.
Also, now that I have been using this machine for so long, I wonder why nobody in the hospital just told me to close my mouth and breathe through my nose? That is what caused the machine to fight against my breath, and what gave me the nightmares about being a rat in a maze. It was so easily solved; why didn't they just say so?
Fortunately, the whirring noise of the CPAP is just enough white noise to help me fall asleep, and I don't need to keep a fan running by my bedside any more. I wonder how long it will take before I am able to go a full night asleep with this mask on my face, without taking it off. But hey, I've made it nearly three weeks now, and I haven't thrown this thing out a window yet. Maybe there's hope after all.
